When I was a little kid, my grandma used to take my to church on Sundays. I don’t remember much of it except that one time when I really needed to go to the ladies’ room. My grandma asked me to wait for a few minutes but I wasn’t gonna do that. Loud and clear I let everyone know that “I need to go poop.” My grandma’s face turned bright red – just like the poppies on her dress – and she quickly escorted me out of the church, apologizing to everyone we passed. I, of course, felt no embarrassment whatsoever.
That’s the good thing about being a kid – you can say whatever you want and the worst thing that can happen is that you end up on a list like this. Therefore, inspired by Bored Panda, we compiled this list of the most hilariously embarrassing things kids have ever said in public, making their parents (or grandmas) feel very, very uncomfortable. [Continue reading below…]
Need a good laugh? Scroll down for 30 embarrassing kid quotes!
When I was 5 or 6 we were at my dad’s company picnic. I was introduced to his boss and I told him, “My Daddy says you’re a son of a bitch.” My Dad’s co-workers fed me ice cream all afternoon.
Took my kids to see Puss and Boots and when the lights dimmed and Puss appeared on the screen my middle son screamed “It’s pussy time” the whole theater was cracking up, I laughed so hard I cried.
Friend’s son, 5 years old, pointed at a Muslim woman in the mall wearing full garb (including face) and shouted, “Mom, a Ninja!”
Daughter was rubbing my face with a small football earlier, she thought it was funny so I let her carry on. Later on we were in a restaurant when out of nowhere she gives it “I gave daddy a ball massage before”. We didn’t stay for dessert.
When my daughter was two and asking about the anatomical difference between herself and her baby brother, I taught her the proper terms and that women and girls had vaginas and vulvas and boys and men had penises and testicles. Whilst browsing through Kohl’s that holiday season (store was PACKED), she loudly exclaimed as she pointed to every stranger we passed “BOY! Penis and tentacles!” “GIRL! Gyyyyynah and Volvo!”. Lather rinse and repeat. The kicker was the androgynous cashier. She asked “Boy or girl?”. The cashier was a trooper and smiled “Girl, sweetie.” Kind proudly screams back “Gyyyynah and Volvo!” Same kid is now overly concerned with being cool and shy around strangers. Go figure!
On our way to watch my daughter play soccer, my son was asking me about how babies were made. So I told him about the sperm and they egg and so on. He seemed to reflect deeply about what I had said. Get to soccer and we sit among all the other parents and he bursts out “Dad, is your sperm still inside me?” I almost fucking died.